All Things Queer


Subscribe to our newsletter to stay updated on events and news. Click here.

Write for us!

Do you rock at writing? Add your voice to South Africa's Queer community.

Home Archives Gay Lifestyle Heterosexuals can learn a lot from gay relationships

Heterosexuals can learn a lot from gay relationships

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Did you know that a homosexual relationship can actually set the example to society of how a good relationship works? Negative, homophobic remarks have made the world think that a gay relationship does not work; that there is a natural incompatibility. Many people, both gay and straight, think that gay people are worse at relationships. The world is made to believe that gay relationships are full of fighting, cheating and unhappiness.

I certainly don’t buy that view. Successful gay relationships can actually show the world how a truly happy and equal couple can function.

Our partner is our equal

Unlike traditional straight relationships, gay relationships do not have the historic trend of being made up of a dominant, controlling husband and a submissive wife. We have built our relationships from a trusting base where we are both equal. We take on roles within the relationship that suits our personalities and aptitude. The partner with the more financial sense may drive the budget. The more creative partner may drive the decorating. And there may be some activities where we both thrive in, and therefore we share the load (cooking in our case).

We are innovative in the bedroom

A gay relationship does not usually consist of one penis and one vagina. We therefore have come up with other ways to be close to our partner and to have fun. We are also not naturally forced to take on a certain role in the bedroom. We may prefer certain roles, or we may just prefer to be versatile.

We share a joint struggle

Gay people know what it is like to live in a homophobic society. While this is not a great society to live in, as a couple, we can stand strong together. We have learnt to not care what the world tells us. Instead we have learnt to be comfortable as we are, and to support each other.

We know how to make our partner happy

Whether it is in the bedroom, or outside, we know how to make each other happy. Since we can relate to each other by sharing gender, we can adjust quickly and easily to our partner’s needs.

Kids are not expected, they are wanted

It is harder for a gay couple to have kids. This means that if we want children, we will discuss it, research it, and spend a lot of time and effort getting a child. When a gay couple  have a child, they both really want a child. We cannot have a child by mistake. If a heterosexual couple wants to know how much someone can want a child, they should have a look at a gay couple with a child. We are also more likely to raise our children with very open and accepting views.

We design our life

We do not have a tradition or a template to follow in our lives. We can choose freely if we want to marry. Our weddings can be completely designed the way we dream them up. We can even custom-design the structure of the relationship.

So next time you hear concerns over gay relationships, just bear in mind that we sometimes can have a much more powerful relationship tool kit than our straight counterparts.

Powered by Web Agency

What Does Queer Mean?

Queer is an umbrella term for sexual minorities that are not heterosexual, heteronormative, or gender-binary.In the context of Western identity politics the term also acts as a label setting queer-identifying people apart from discourse, ideologies, and lifestyles that typify mainstream LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transsexual) communities as being oppressive or assimilationist.