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Home Archives Gay Lifestyle

Gay Lifestyle

Cheaters

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I often ask my friends what they would class as cheating and where they would draw the line between pure flirtation and something more serious. When you are in a relationship, is it cheating if you flirt with another person, if you go for a drink with them, if your lips touch, or is it purely when you sleep with someone other than your partner?

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Are we turning into pod people?

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Though the title of the 1955 science-fiction novel The body Snatchers sounds titillating, the subject matter was anything but.

It told the story of alien seeds that invade humans and re-sprouts their bodies from pods. Once a human was re-birthed they became known as a pod person, and had a mere five years of life left before going to the great unknown. But, being a pod person recreated you as a perfect physical version of yourself for those five years... A price many of my fellow gay friends will gladly pay.

This got me thinking of my community in Northern Johannesburg which have emerged as a semi-upscale Gauteng-based gay paradise. Here, no man is exempt from a gadget with the words pad, pod or phone attached to it. With these gadgets we are certainly creating perfect versions of ourselves that is amerced in al that clicks, glistens and connects to the internet. Creating that beautiful illusion of youth and perfection. We are pod people.

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Donating “gay blood”

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In many countries, there is either an outright ban on gay men donating blood, or there is a deferral period, where a man cannot donate blood if he has had sex with another man in the preceding 6 or 12 months. The reason for the ban, is that many studies have shown that gay men have a much higher prevalence of HIV and hepatitis than straight men. I was wondering if this policy is fair.

 

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4 stages of finding a relationship

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1. You love being single

The first stage is one where you profess the joys of being single. Being single is the best thing in the world. You wonder why anyone would be stupid enough to be in a relationship. You really relish the freedom and lack of responsibility that comes with being single.

To the people around you, you appear to be thrilled to be single. But do you really feel like this deep down? Is this a cover for the true loneliness you are feeling?

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Heterosexuals can learn a lot from gay relationships

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Did you know that a homosexual relationship can actually set the example to society of how a good relationship works? Negative, homophobic remarks have made the world think that a gay relationship does not work; that there is a natural incompatibility. Many people, both gay and straight, think that gay people are worse at relationships. The world is made to believe that gay relationships are full of fighting, cheating and unhappiness.

I certainly don’t buy that view. Successful gay relationships can actually show the world how a truly happy and equal couple can function.

Our partner is our equal

Unlike traditional straight relationships, gay relationships do not have the historic trend of being made up of a dominant, controlling husband and a submissive wife. We have built our relationships from a trusting base where we are both equal. We take on roles within the relationship that suits our personalities and aptitude. The partner with the more financial sense may drive the budget. The more creative partner may drive the decorating. And there may be some activities where we both thrive in, and therefore we share the load (cooking in our case).

We are innovative in the bedroom

A gay relationship does not usually consist of one penis and one vagina. We therefore have come up with other ways to be close to our partner and to have fun. We are also not naturally forced to take on a certain role in the bedroom. We may prefer certain roles, or we may just prefer to be versatile.

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What is it that our ‘gaydars’ pick up in a person?

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If you are gay, you have probably heard of the ‘gaydar’. I am not referring to the gay sex/hookup site, but rather the ability to tell that someone else is gay, just by looking.

Urban dictionary defines a ‘gaydar’ to be: “The ability/gift of being able to detect homosexuality in other people.”

But is it really a gift? A sixth sense that we were born with when we our DNA decided that we were gay?

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Did I really leave my cave for this…?

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If I said the following to you - Winnie, Rupert, Paddington, Yogi and Boo Boo, what would come to mind? If it was BEARS then you are on the money, if not, then you had better read on…

When people conjure the image of the ‘Homosexual Male’ what blossoms to the forefront of their minds is a beautiful Ken doll, or these days, his emaciated cousin Bob. No one automatically thinks of those hairy big-boys called Bears. Well I do…

My name is Matthew and I am a proud Bear.

Now what is a Bear you may ask? Well if you don’t know, here is a little gay knowledge for you:

Superficially a Bear is a chubby, hairy, masculine, gay male who likes beer and flannel shirts. However, according to many Bears and their admirers, the Bear culture is not so much about physical appearance. Rather it is about living a particular philosophy of acceptance, respect, and the celebration of diversity. Furthermore, a Bear is a gay man who rejoices in his masculinity (masculinity of a relaxed and unassuming nature) rather than suppressing his true gender identity to assimilate into the pretty-boy ideal of the gay ‘community’. A Bear is, well, a big teddy-bear of a man:gruff and bristly on the outside, but mellow and squishy-sweet on the inside.

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Where is the hidden gay community?

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Firstly, what is the ‘gay community’? I think we can consider two groups of ‘gay guys’: what I call the ‘public gay community’ and the ‘private gay community’.

Public gay community

This is what the public sees and believes to be true of the gay community. The public stereotype is that they dress in pink, have sex promiscuously, go to night clubs for hook-ups, and generally are in the design industry. They are also the ones often portrayed in pride marches, and on the news marching for ‘Gay Rights’. What I have described here is very much a public perception rather than the truth.

Private gay community

While I have nothing against the public gay community, I think that there is a huge group of people who fit more in line with the ‘straight stereotype.’ They may prefer to socialise at people’s houses, go to restaurants, read books, cook and play poker on Sundays. But this group is so intertwined with society that they are hidden. In other words, they are not often associated with the gay community as a whole. The general public would not think of this group of people when they think of gay men.

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Adorable Vintage Photos of Gay Love

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Here is a fun, sweet, romantic collection of vintage photos of gay male couples. Enjoy!

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Many Shades of Gay

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Many Shades of Gay is about celebrating the rich, colorful and diverse lifestyles within the gay community. The campaign communicates that no matter who you are or how you see yourself, getting an HIV test every six months is an important part of taking care of yourself, your partners and your community.

It’s important to know one’s current HIV status, especially among gay and bisexual men who are disproportionately affected by the HIV epidemic. Not knowing one’s HIV status leads to missed opportunities for HIV prevention and care. For infection rates to decrease, status awareness must increase.

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What Does Queer Mean?

Queer is an umbrella term for sexual minorities that are not heterosexual, heteronormative, or gender-binary.In the context of Western identity politics the term also acts as a label setting queer-identifying people apart from discourse, ideologies, and lifestyles that typify mainstream LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transsexual) communities as being oppressive or assimilationist.

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