All Things Queer

This beautiful video profile about Truth Wins Out was just released.

It focuses on TWO's work fighting the dangerous "ex-gay" industry, using John Becker's personal journey and experiences last year going undercover for TWO in the Bachmann clinic as a springboard from which to tell the story.

This is the most deeply touching thing that I have come across lately. Out with Dad is a sweet, genuinely heartfelt, heartwarmingly real web series about the coming of age and coming out of a 15 year old girl named Rose. Watch it. And share this with anyone that might be struggling with embracing their own sexuality.

Here's the first episode. But you can find the rest on their channel.

To find out more about the series, visit outwithdad.com

In many countries, there is either an outright ban on gay men donating blood, or there is a deferral period, where a man cannot donate blood if he has had sex with another man in the preceding 6 or 12 months. The reason for the ban, is that many studies have shown that gay men have a much higher prevalence of HIV and hepatitis than straight men. I was wondering if this policy is fair.

It is hard to comprehend the full impact that hate crime has on society as a whole, and also particularly on those that are directly affected by it. Some don’t even fully understand exactly when they have experienced a hate crime, or if they do, some choose to turn a blind eye – this is often out of fear of further discrimination. Many even feel that reporting it is a waste of time, given inefficiency and lack of education of our police force regarding this matter. However, it is vital that these crimes are reported – not only because you have the right to law enforcement, but also because records of these incidents help towards hate crimes being recognized and stopped.

1. You love being single

The first stage is one where you profess the joys of being single. Being single is the best thing in the world. You wonder why anyone would be stupid enough to be in a relationship. You really relish the freedom and lack of responsibility that comes with being single.

To the people around you, you appear to be thrilled to be single. But do you really feel like this deep down? Is this a cover for the true loneliness you are feeling?

I know of a few lesbians that seem to follow this approach. Honestly, I can't imagine where they're going wrong.

The Other Team – Transitions #Germaine

Having one's continuing identity and gender transformation chronicled does not happen every day. Having those moments visually translated by one of Johannesburg's best photographers and artists is extra-ordinary. I've been fortunate enough to have my continuing exploration and performance of my gender identity and playfulness with the queer photographed and recorded by Nadine Hutton, better known as @2point8photo on Twitter and Tumblr.

Dreads – Transitions #Germaine

Not in my wildest dreams did I ever envision becoming a photographer’s muse, let alone envision finding it a joyful and liberating experience. I’ve always hated having photographs taken of me. It always felt like all my awkwardness, insecurities and perceived ugliness were being magnified for everyone to see. It’s difficult enough feeling those things within one’s own body – having those things caught on camera was just too much for me.

NPR recently polled its readers for their favorite teen novels of all time and published the results in their Top 100 Choices for Best Teen Novels. Unsurprisingly, very few queer books made it onto the final list, so Autostraddle came up with their own list of 20 awesome queer young adult novels.

20. Shockproof Sydney Skate, by Marijane Meaker (1973)

The gay lady in this underrated YA novel is actually the protagonist's Mom, but it's a fascinating look at her world through the eyes of her son, Sydney, chock-full of punchy dialogue, wry observations and classic pop culture references, shot through with a smart, fast-paced plot. Sydney decoded his agent mother's power-lesbian-girlfriend gossip at age eight but has never told her that he knows she's gay. Then he falls in love with Alison Gray, his Mom's newest client... who subsequently falls for his Mom. Hijinks ensue.

19. Letters in the Attic, by Bonnie Shimko (2002)

Emily Saliers of the Indigo Girls and Betty DeGeneres blurbed this Lambda-Award-Winning young adult novel (and crossover success), which takes place in the early 1960's and follows 12-year-old Lizzy McMann, a teenager forced to move from Arizona to upstate new York with her "unstable" mother when her father leaves them for a hatcheck girl. There, she falls for an eighth grader "who looks like Natalie Wood and smokes," meets her grandparents for the first time, and experiences fun things like "puberty."  Emily Saliers notes: "Letters is a biting and compassionate look at the vulnerabilty of coming of age and the triumph of coming into own's own."

18. Girl Walking Backwards, by Bett Williams (1998)

Skye lives in Southern California with a psuedo-New Age enthusiast for a mother and a giant crush on Jessica, "a troubled gothic punk girl who cuts herself regularly with sharp objects," who Skye catches fucking her boyfriend in the bathroom at a rave. Following that unwelcome encounter, Skye switches up her life, acquiring a new pagan best friend and an athletic love interest. This book has been described as "a post-Catcher in the Rye roman à clef."

Did you know that a homosexual relationship can actually set the example to society of how a good relationship works? Negative, homophobic remarks have made the world think that a gay relationship does not work; that there is a natural incompatibility. Many people, both gay and straight, think that gay people are worse at relationships. The world is made to believe that gay relationships are full of fighting, cheating and unhappiness.

I certainly don’t buy that view. Successful gay relationships can actually show the world how a truly happy and equal couple can function.

Our partner is our equal

Unlike traditional straight relationships, gay relationships do not have the historic trend of being made up of a dominant, controlling husband and a submissive wife. We have built our relationships from a trusting base where we are both equal. We take on roles within the relationship that suits our personalities and aptitude. The partner with the more financial sense may drive the budget. The more creative partner may drive the decorating. And there may be some activities where we both thrive in, and therefore we share the load (cooking in our case).

We are innovative in the bedroom

A gay relationship does not usually consist of one penis and one vagina. We therefore have come up with other ways to be close to our partner and to have fun. We are also not naturally forced to take on a certain role in the bedroom. We may prefer certain roles, or we may just prefer to be versatile.

Lesbians specialise in the urge to merge, and we are adept at “complicated” relationships. We try every trick in the book to convince ourselves it’s meant to be, even if love flashes off and on more often than a strobe light.

The thing is, a good relationship is never that complicated, and doesn’t call for] multiple breakups. So here are some of the lies you’ll tell yourself when it’s not working – and your no-excuses guide to leaving the yo-yo behind.

Lie 1: It’s normal to ‘take space’

Yes, it is normal to need your independence. But when your relationship is working, you won’t need to put a label ontaking space. You’ll go off and do stuff on your own when you want to, and you’ll come back and reconnect when you want to; you’ll lie around watching DVDs when you want to, and talk a hole through the ceiling when you want to. No one will shout and no onewill feel insecure about it. If they do, it should take a three-minute chat to sort out.

What is not normal is to fight often, go tearing off into the realms of no contact, and come bouncing back with an over-compensatory level of intimacy. Alarm bell! You’re officially in volatile-ville.